Other White Meat

Do pigs give each other human-y back rides?
Do piglets keep their pig money in people-y banks?
When the farmer has sex with a pig, then kills him and eats him, does he file the pig as a dependant or as an expenditure?

Under-Age Text

A couple more teachers have been found putting their hanky in their students' pankies.
Uncool.
But now a lot of sexual predators (where's Sexual Schwarzenegger when you need him?) are pursuing their sexual prey via text messaging on cell phones.
With those tiny buttons. Too difficult.

"Show me your pens!"
"Squeeze my tots!"
"Lick my aunt!"

The PR people of Bic, Ore-Ida and mothers' sisters had no comment.