"I've been working like a dog."
I take umbrage with this simile. No dog I've known has been a hard worker. In fact, most dogs make Garfield look like a puma on acid. Maybe not sled dogs or St. Bernards in the frozen tundra of Anchorage, but most dogs' daily schedules consist of licking themselves, sniffing poop and becoming amorous with someone's leg.
My dog wouldn't even beg for food. She would demand it from the other room. Then my father would ask, "How come the dog's farts smell so bad?" And we would explain to him, "Because you feed her what you eat."
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Two men were walking down the street when they saw a dog licking his balls.
One man says to the other, "I wish I could do that."
The second man replies, "Really? I'd just pet him first."
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