I was watching the National Geographic channel today.
(I know what you're thinking... they have THAT as a channel? Does it show those topless tribeswomen with rings in their noses?)
The program I watched discussed bears, specifically black bears of Alaska (or Ursus americanus americanus).
Apparently these bears can
swim over 5 miles in the icy waters of Alaska,
hear twice as far as humans
smell 100 times farther
climb faster than they can run,
and they can run over 25 MPH.
So why the hell do we have teddy bears? What's so cute and cuddly about that??
A bear would maul the hell out of Clifford the big, red dog.
Eviscerate-Me Elmo.
Black bears are the Jason Bourne of the animal kingdom. Now we must manufacture Matt Damon dolls for our children to cuddle.
What's so weird about that?
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