Two Drink Minimum

I was recently labeled a "two beer queer."

This refers to my low level of alcohol tolerance (the number drinks I require to acheive inebriation).
First of all, ONE of those beers was a CapriSun laced with RedBull.

Secondly, I take umbrage with this moniker (and I take umbrellas with monocles!).
The gay community deserves more credit than that, and most homosexuals require more alcohol to get sloshed (they LOVE alcohol SO much they have their own bars... and their own parades, the ideal venue for being drunk).

Also, if one is using queer as Noah Webster intended (adj., "differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal"), it's still lousy. This assumes that MOST people require MORE than two beers to get intoxicated.
Well, I only drink with toddlers!
And those chubby Baby Einsteins couldn't even finish a Mike's Hard Cranberry-Lemonade from their Cookie Monster sip-cups...
and they were still crapping themselves!

Talk about lightweights!
Totally disoriented. They couldn't even tell me how to get... how to get to Sesame Street!