Spare the Rod...

I just saw a commercial for a brand-spankin' new thermometor for children!

I remember a few years ago there was an "in-the-ear" thermometer (a far cry from my youth, which involved "in-the-rear" temperature taking... 98.6 degrees and 100% fabulous!).
This caused no pain, but was still awkward, since some people have ear issues (I blame the predominace of "wet willies" in our playgrounds).

Next there was an "under-the-armpit" thermometer. This was awesome! You just stick a metal and plastic thing under the pit for 5 seconds and BAM! Temperature!
Well, apparently this was no good, either. I guess prepubescent kids didn't feel comfortable taking off their shirts for the school nurse (or, if she was busy, the school janitor who was in his work-release program).

So now there is a NEW thermometer! An Infra-red Thermometer!
With this one, you point it at the child's forehead for 3 seconds, it emits a glowing red dot, and BAM!
Your kid has a bindi! ... Or looks like he is about to be assassinated.
Temperature taken.

Supposedly it works. So now you can take your child's temperature without having to touch him or her. Oh, happy day! Pass the Purell hand sanitizer. We are desensitizing our kids to the real world, weakening their immune system, while at the same time exposing them to a plethora of violence, sex and "High School Musicals."
I'm not saying we should shove horse turds into the bottom of their footie-pajamas, but we can't raise them to live in little plastic bubbles either (of course, if used a little plastic bubble then the kids wouldn't be here to begin with).

It's like allowing chuldren to watch reality television.

And for the Consumer Reports, I did a price comparison at "securebaby.com"--
The Infra-red thermometer runs $83, plus shipping.
Meanwhile, you can get a combination underarm, rectal and oral for just $29.
Now, I'm not a Vegas hooker, but that sounds like somebody is getting screwed... and it's in the face.